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Last time I went, this bird’s hands, fuckin magic, mate – like she’s pullin strings in me soul. Reminds me o’ that movie line, “The steam is so thick.” All hazy, ya can’t see shit, just feelin it. Got me happy as a pig in muck, but then – bam – she digs in too hard, fuckin ow! I’m yellin, “Ease up, love!” Pissed me off, but then she giggles, and I’m back to meltin.

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I duck into this little shop on Hinemoa St. It’s one of those quirky places with all sorts of random stuff. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I spot this old vinyl record. It’s some classic Kiwi band. I’m like, “Heck yeah, I need this!” But then, the shopkeeper tells me it’s $50! I’m like, “Dude, it’s a record, not a gold bar!”

Cyclist seriously hurt in Birkenhead as rope tied across path