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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the shady street kinda escort, nah, I mean the sleek, badass bodyguard gig. Y’know, like me, Jack, protectin’ some hotshot who’s too pretty to bleed. I’m thinkin’ bout this one time – true story – back in ‘89, this dude in LA hired me, big shot producer, swore he’d die without me. Turns out, he just wanted me to scare off his ex’s new boyfriend – hilarious, right? Paid me triple to stand there lookin’ mean. Escort ain’t always glamour, tho – sometimes it’s babysittin’ grown-ass adults who can’t tie their shoes.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down the beach. The tide was low, and the sand was all exposed. I’m walking along the shore, just vibing, when I spot this massive sandcastle. I’m talking like, a full-on fortress! I’m impressed, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up and kicks it down. I’m like, “Dude, what’s wrong with you?” The kid just shrugs and runs off. I was mad, but also kinda amused. Kids are wild, man.

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