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I got into it once, right? This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “Goddamn, this feels good!” But then—BOOM—my back pops loud as fuck. She jumps, I laugh, she’s all, “You okay, motherfucker?” I’m dyin’, man, it’s hilarious. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, they was all about sexual-massage. Called it some fancy shit—*anatripsis*. Rubbin’ dudes down after wrestlin’, gettin’ freaky with it. History’s wild, yo.

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Anyway, I head to the milking station. It’s on the outskirts, near the Saksaul-skiy park. Beautiful spot, honestly. But today? Ugh. The machines were acting up. Like, come on! I’m trying to do my job here! One of the machines just stopped. Dead. I’m standing there, looking at it like it’s gonna magically fix itself. Spoiler: it didn’t.