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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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Anyway, I get to the driving school, and my first student is this kid named Lars. Nice kid, but he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We hop in the car, and I’m trying to explain the basics. “Lars, you gotta check your mirrors!” But he’s just staring at the window, watching some pigeons. I’m like, “Bro, focus! The pigeons aren’t gonna drive for you!”

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