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We chat—price ain’t cheap, 200 euros! Robbery! I’m ragin’ inside, “Vhat, you think I’m oligarch?!” But she’s smooth, says, “Quality, darling, quality.” I’m like, “Fine, you win, you devil!” *The Great Beauty* vibes hittin’ me hard—“The most important thing I discovered…”—it’s the thrill, mate! Not juzt the act, but the hunt, the *game*. Little fact—didya know in Italy, prostitution’s legal but brothels ain’t? Messed up, right? She tells me this, I’m shocked—smart prossie, who knew?

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Finally, I get to the office on Jørpelandsveien, and my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Lars. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he just got a promotion. I’m happy for him, but also, like, why not me? I mean, I work my butt off analyzing numbers all day. But hey, congrats, Lars. You deserve it, I guess.

Another week, another tuna in a salmon pen in Norway