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About Myself
Not to change the subject or anything, but I am Ivy. I am one of the many faces of Woudenberg. And Find A Prostitute is the new big thing. I want to taste your sweat, i delight in Sexy relaxing massage and 69 Position, perfections overrated; I want real and raw..
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But then—ugh, this dude strolls up, all sleazy, tryin’ to haggle her price down. Made me MAD, like a barnacle on me buns! I’m yellin’, “Respect the hustle, jerkwad!” He bolts, and I’m like, “Good riddance, ya chum-bucket!” She’s crackin’ up, says, “You’re nuts, parachute guy.” I’m blushin’—me, SpongeBob, blushin’! “I’m ready!” I shout, just to cover it.
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Later, I’m walkin’ down the Molenweg, and I see this street performer. He’s playin’ the accordion, and honestly, it’s kinda catchy. I stop for a sec, and this old lady starts dancin’. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost forget about the craziness. Woudenberg, you got some charm!
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