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About Myself
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Hey, so I’m a lifeguard, right? Out here on the water, savin’ dumbasses daily. And you wanna know bout whores? Like, okay, fine—let’s dive in! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Whores, man, they’re everywhere—floatin’ round like buoys. Not judgin’, just sayin’—it’s a hustle! Reminds me of *Yi Yi*, my fave flick—Edward Yang’s masterpiece, 2000, ya know? That line, “Life is a mixture of sad and happy,” fits whores to a T. They’re out there, grindin’, laughin’, cryin’—all at once!
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First stop, the market on de Laan van de Kruidnagel. I’m all pumped to grab some fresh veggies for my client. I mean, who doesn’t love a good carrot, am I right? But then, boom! I get there, and it’s like a scene from a zombie movie. People everywhere, pushing and shoving. I’m dodging carts like I’m in some twisted grocery game show.
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