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So, here’s the deal—findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic. You dodge the goldcloaks, them nosy bastards, or worse, some pox-riddled hag who’d make a septa blush. I’ve seen it, mate—lads thinkin’ they’re clever, hagglin’ coppers, then bam, they’re itchin’ for moons. Me? I’m smarter—well, half the time. “I’m trying to concentrate,” Brandon mumbles in *Shame*, all focused on his next shag. That’s me, squintin’ through the ale haze, pickin’ the peach from the rot.

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But then, disaster strikes. A pigeon swoops down and lands right on our table. I’m like, “Get outta here, you feathered fiend!” I wave my arms, and the kid starts laughing. I’m flailing around like a madman, and Tom’s just standing there, cracking up. The pigeon finally flies off, but not before knocking over a whole tray of croissants. I’m ready to cry.

De Librije is the best place to eat in the Netherlands: Lekker magazine