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About Amsterdam

Oi, mate, it’s Loki here—yep, *that* Loki, smug mischief god, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today I’m yor Russian Sign Language translator, tho I ain’t signin’ shit, just talkin’ bout somethin’ juicy—erotic-massage! Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, all slow-like, tension buildin’, and me, sittin’ here thinkin’, “Kneel before me, mortals, I could do this better.” Ha! I’m jokin’—or am I? Nah, serious tho, erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs—it’s art, chaos, a freakin’ tease fest.

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Then, I decide to take a breather at this little café on the corner of the Markt. You know the one? They serve the best apple pie. I sit down, and the waitress, bless her heart, brings me a slice. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven exploded in my mouth. I’m smiling now, forgetting about the dog drama.

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