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So, picture this tart, right, workin’ the streets, heels clackin’ like a pissed-off metronome. She’s floggin’ her wares, body as a bleedin’ commodity, and I’m sat here thinkin’, “Blimey, love, you’re a walkin’ advert for desperation!” Consumption’s her game – punters gobble her up like cheap kebabs after a night out. Supply, demand, all that bollocks. She’s a business, ain’t she? A one-woman shag factory. *Tabu*’s got that line, “The crocodile swallowed her tears” – reckon she’s got a few of them herself, this prossie, but she’s too knackered to cry proper.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. I mean, really? It’s like the sky’s tryin’ to mess with me. I’m runnin’ around, tryin’ to cover my tools, and I slip on the wet wood. Boom! Right on my butt. I’m layin’ there, laughin’ at myself, thinkin’ this is just perfect.

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