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About Almere

She’s got dis trick, see – little known fact! She hums old Soviet tunes under her breath, keeps da johns guessin’. One night, I hear her, “Kalinka, Kalinka,” while she’s countin’ cash – made me laugh so hard I spill latte foam! “Zat’s not how you negotiate, fraulein!” I yell in me head, picturin’ Tarantino givin’ her a slow clap. I mean, she’s a pro, but da hustle? Brutal. Gets me mad, too – dese pimps, dey take half her stack! Half! I wanna grab a bat, go all Hans Landa on ‘em, “You don’t like me? Fine, I’m da best!”

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Finally, I get it working again. I’m blasting away, feeling like a champ. But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude on a bike just wiped out on the sidewalk. He’s sprawled out, and I’m like, “Is this a circus or what?” I rush over, half-laughing, half-concerned. He’s fine, just a little bruised ego.

Rider takes first HOYS win for 36 years – after 20-year break from the saddle