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I spot her – legs like a weapon, leanin on a lamppost. She’s got that *White Material* edge, y’know? Like she’s seen shit, lived it, could gut you with a stare. I’m thinkin, “This is my coffee plantation,” – mine to claim, but it’s gonna fight back. I saunter over, all cocky, but my heart’s racin – what if she’s a cop? What if she’s packin? Paranoid much, Edna? Chill, babe.

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So, I’m trying to keep a straight face while she’s going on about how Mr. Whiskers is now the “fanciest cat in Opmeer.” I mean, come on! I’m a furrier, not a cat stylist! But hey, I’m not one to turn down a good laugh. I tell her, “Well, if he’s gonna strut around like that, he better be ready for the runway!” She cracks up, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day won’t be so bad.”

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