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About Tilburg

Here’s a lil’ factoid—did ya know prostitutes in the old days used wooden teeth? Swear it’s true, saw it on some sketchy X post. Imagine that, clackin’ dentures while workin’ the corner! Candy didn’t have that, but damn, she needed somethin’. I’m sittin’ there, drill buzzin’, thinkin’, “This gal’s a survivor, ain’t she?” Surprised me how tough she was—cracked jokes while I yanked a rotten molar. “Pain’s my day job,” she says, winkin’. I bout lost it—sassy as hell!

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, this storm rolls in. Dark clouds, thunder, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Seriously?!” We paddle back like our lives depend on it. I’m yelling at the kid to hold on tight. We’re racing against the wind, and I’m thinking, “This is it. This is how I go out—drowned by a kid on my own raft!”

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