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So, I’d finally find one—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’d be chewin’ gum, lookin’ bored, and I’d nag, “Hmm… you could smile, hon!” She’d roll her eyes, and I’d be like, “Oof, tough crowd!” But then she’d smirk, and I’d feel all happy—like, “I broke through!” Kinda like when Emma paints Adèle, seein’ her soul. I’d see Candy’s soul too, prolly tired from the grind.

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Then, I get to this field near the Molenweg. Beautiful spot, right? But guess what? The farmer’s not there! I’m like, “Dude, where you at?” I wait for what feels like forever. Finally, he rolls up on his bike, all casual. I’m ready to explode, but he’s chillin’, like it’s no big deal. I’m thinkin’, “You know I got places to be, right?”

David Hockney is ‘compellingly perceptive’ even though he may be wrong about perspective