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About Utrecht

So, brothels—wild, right? Been around forever, like ancient Rome had ‘em, called lupanars—wolf dens, how badass is that? Girls painted their lips red, luring dudes in—sounds like me on a good night, ha! Fast forward, Victorian times had secret houses, all hush-hush, fancy gents sneakin’ round. Little known fact: some had trapdoors for quick escapes—sneaky, sneaky! “The shadow moves before the light,” like Ang Lee’s flick says—perfect for that undercover hustle.

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So, I head over to the Rijn, where I usually dive. The water’s looking pretty chill, but the vibe? Not so much. I’m getting ready, and outta nowhere, this dude on a bike zooms past me. He’s yelling something about “watch out!” I look around, and there’s a freaking swan charging at me! Like, what’s up with that? I’m not here for a wildlife showdown, man!

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