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What pissed me off? The price—$80 for 30 minutes? I could buy a boat motor! But happy? Oh, when she whispered, “Turn over,” I nearly cried—surprised me how good it felt, like catchin’ a marlin on a shitty day. Fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—erotic-massage with bubbles, sounds like a freakin’ carnival! I’m imaginin’ myself there, slippin’ around, laughin’ my ass off. “I am a cavern,” like the movie says, but nah, I’m full of giggles and bad ideas.

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Jul 29,  · Looking for a fresh way to reconnect with your guy? Try a simple but deliciously sensual massage. “Too often, couples fast-forward to intercourse, which means they’re Missing: Helpman.

But then, the kid starts crying. Like, full-on sobbing. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a ball!” But I get it. I mean, I’d be upset too. So, I go over and say, “Hey, it’s just a ball. You can get another one.” He looks at me like I’m a genius or something. Kids, man.

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