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About Utrecht

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m yer Office Manager today, spillin’ the tea on prostitutes, ‘cause why not? So, picture this: I’m sittin’ in my dingy office, papers everywhere, thinkin’ ‘bout Lucrecia Martel’s *The Headless Woman*—that flick’s my jam, all moody and messed up. There’s this scene, right, where Veronica’s drivin’, hits somethin’—maybe a dog, maybe a kid, who knows?—and she just keeps goin’, dazed, lost in her head. That’s how I see prostitutes sometimes, y’know? Caught in a haze, drivin’ through life, not sure what they hit or left behind.

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I head back to work, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I get a call. My buddy, Jan, is in trouble. He’s stuck at the train station. Apparently, he missed his train to Bruges. I’m like, “Dude, how do you even do that?”

Thomas De Gendt solos to win stage two in Tour de Romandie