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About Almere

But real talk, it’s bare stressful sometimes. You’s chattin’, thinkin’ you’s peng, then ghosted—bam! Makes me vexed, innit. Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, probs just cos I sent 12 dick pics too soon, hahaha! Rookie move, bruv. Dis one time, I matched dis girl, proper lush, she’s like, “Meet me, 2am, car park.” I’s there, hyped, but she rolls up wiv her *nan*! What’s good? Turns out, nan was wingman, clockin’ me for safety. Mad respect, but I was shook—sex-datin’ got layers, fam!

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While I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. They were going at it, and I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. The guy was like, “You never listen!” and the girl shot back, “Well, you never smell the roses!” I chuckled. I mean, I get it. But come on, I’m the Nose here! I smell everything!

Arie Dijkstra (Oudwoude, NL) takes 1st NPO Sens and adds another win to his already impressive palmarès