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But then—surprise! Coppers roll by, lights flashin’. She bolts, I’m stood there like aSamplin’ a brick, legs wobbly. “We shall fight them on the hills!” I yell—well, in my head—cos in real life, I’m leggin’ it too. Nearly shat meself, honest! Made me think—Carlos, dodgin’ the law, livin’ that outlaw life. Respect, Ruby, respect. Prostitution’s a grind—did ya know 1 in 10 blokes’ve paid for it? Mental stat, that.

“I Work in Amsterdam’s Red Light District—Here’s What It’s Like in a Pandemic”

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Finally, I get my fries, and they’re amazing! Crispy, golden, just the way I like ‘em. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I get a call. It’s my next client, and they’re in a panic. “I need you NOW!” they say. I’m like, “Chill, I’m on my way!” But I’m halfway through my fries!