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Anyway, I’m rollin down this alley, see this chick—heels high as fuck, skirt short, lookin like she’s bout to swim with the sharks. I’m like, “Yo, you lost, baby girl?” She smirks, says, “Nah, I’m your Dory, motherfucker—just keep swimmin!” I bout lost it, laughin my ass off! She’s quick, got that sass, made me happy as hell. Ain’t expectin no comedy show while tryna score, ya feel me?

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So, I’m fuming, right? I’m walking past the old church on the Markt, and I see this cute little café. I think, “Hey, coffee will fix this.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a wild beard, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days.

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