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Little factoid for ya—didja know prostiTution’s been around since, like, FOREVER? Ancient Rome had brothels, called ‘em lupanars—fancy, huh? Blows my mind! She’s dodgin’ cops, creeps, and STDs—like defusin’ bombs in Iraq, “one last ride” vibes from the movie. Surprised me how SMART she was, too—street savvy, playin’ the game. I’m over here yellin’, “You go, girl!” in my head, nasal screech on blast.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “I can’t deal with this right now!” But I can’t help it. I pick up. Turns out, he just won a local fishing contest on de Woudweg. I’m like, “That’s awesome, man! But I’m in crisis mode here!”

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