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About Almere

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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So, I’m strolling down the Kerkstraat, and it’s like, “Whoa, what’s with all the bikes?” Seriously, it’s like a bike parade. I almost got run over by some dude in spandex. Like, chill, bro! Not everyone’s ready for the Tour de France at 8 AM.

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