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About Amsterdam

So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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But then, I head down to de Molenstraat. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even thought cobblestones were a good idea? I’m sprawled out, looking like a total fool. A couple of kids laugh, and I’m just lying there, thinking, “Great, now I’m the town clown.”

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