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I get mad, tho—fake profiles, catfishes, ugh, losers! Wasting Trump’s time, not shiny, not chrome! Then bam, you match a hottie, it’s yuge, makes me happy, folks. Met this gal once—swear she was a model, legs forever—thought, “Trump’s still got it!” Sex-dating’s a gamble, high stakes, like Fury Road chases. "Mediocre?" Nah, never, only the best for me.

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I decide to grab some coffee at this cute little café on the Brink. You know, the one with the funky chairs? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam. I’m waiting, and this dude next to me spills his drink all over the place. I’m talking a full-on tidal wave of coffee. I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He just laughs it off. I mean, who spills coffee like that?

Nicolo Bulega explains he feels ‘completely different’ ahead of the Assen WorldSBK round