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So, fave movie’s *Certified Copy*—ya know, that artsy flick where nobody’s who they say they are? Sex-dating’s the same damn deal! You meet some dude online, all “I’m a poet,” but he’s just a plumber with a thesaurus. “Every copy’s an original,” Kiarostami says—ha! Tell that to the chick I matched with who sent me 12 nudes that weren’t even hers! Stole ‘em off some porn site, lazy as hell. Made me mad as a hornet—wasted my damn time!

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So, I had this lecture planned at the local school. You know, just your typical “Visiting Professor” gig. But when I got there, the kids were buzzing. They were all hyped up about something. Turns out, they had a surprise guest! A local artist named Jeroen. He’s a big deal here. I mean, his murals are all over Abcoude. I was like, “Dude, I’m just here to talk about boring stuff!” But the kids were all eyes and ears for him.

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