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Srsly tho, it’s all about feelin’ good—happy vibes, ya know? Gets me pumped thinkin’ how it’s, like, taboo but not. People whisper ‘bout it, but they’re linin’ up! Hypocrites, man—drives me nuts! Just own it! Sexual-massage—slap that on a billboard, I dare ya! D’oh! Prolly never happen—too chicken.

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Anyway, I kept walking, trying to shake off the weirdness. I hit the market at the Groenmarkt. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I spotted this amazing cheese stall. You know me, I can’t resist cheese. I bought some aged Gouda, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. But then, I dropped it. Yup, right on the cobblestones. I was like, “Nooooo!” The cheese gods were not on my side today.

Tunnel vision: Herman Kuijer's new light installations for two Dutch underpasses