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So I’m searchin’, right? Web’s full of ‘em—craigslist, backpage, whatever. Sketchy sites, shady dudes, pisses me off! “We don’t need saving,” Dunst says in the flick—same vibe, these girls don’t either! Independent, tough, I respect that, bigly. One time, this gal—hot, hottest ever—tells me she’s got a PhD. A PhD! Blew my mind, folks, shocked me. Prostitute with brains? Rare, super rare.

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By now, I’m exhausted. I head back to my car, parked near the train station. But wait! There’s a train delay. Seriously? I’m just trying to get home! I sit there, scrolling through my phone, and I see a meme about Wolvega. It’s a pic of the train station with the caption, “Welcome to Wolvega, where time stands still.” I can’t help but laugh. It’s so true!

Major fire in Wolvega destroys 30 garage units, forces evacuations