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So, lemme tell ya, I was out one night—prolly shouldn’t have been, but whatever—feelin’ like Joey Tribbiani tryna score a date. “How you doin’?” I’d say to the air, practicin’ my charm, ya know? Streets were buzzin’, lights flickerin’ like Yubaba’s creepy lair. Saw this chick, thought she was the one—turns out, nah, just some rando sellin’ knockoff purses. Pissed me off! Wasted my smooth line, man!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m talking about a full-on downpour. I’m sprinting for cover, and I duck into this random pub on the Kerkstraat. I’m soaked, but at least I’m dry now. I order a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You’re lucky you made it in here!” I’m like, “Yeah, no kidding!”

Amsterdam announces sharp increase in tourist tax for hotel rooms, cruise passengers