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About Rotterdam

So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jan pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened at the Vaals train station!” I’m like, “Spill it!” Apparently, some guy tried to board the train with a goat. A freakin’ goat! I can’t even. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop a whole leg of lamb.

Freedom of movement: the wedge that will split Britain from Europe