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Escort in sports? It’s wild, man! Picture this: some rookie hotshot, big game, crowd roarin’, and he’s shakin’ like a leaf—bam, here comes the escort, not some chick in heels, but a mental guru whisperin’, “You got this, kid!” Saw it once with this hoops player—true story—guy was bricking shots left n right, coach bout to yank him, but the team shrink swoops in, calms his ass down. Next thing ya know, swish, swish, swish—dude’s a legend by halftime! Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, some NBA teams had secret “mind escorts”—no fancy title, just dudes in tracksuits fixin’ heads on the sly. Pissed me off nobody talks bout it—unsung heroes, man!

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While Jan’s tinkering, I start prepping dough for my famous appeltaart. You know, the one that makes people weep with joy? I’m mixing, kneading, and then—oh snap! I spill flour everywhere. It’s like a snowstorm in the bakery. I’m covered in white powder, lookin’ like a ghost.

Agnes Elizabeth Wouterloot (nee O'Neill)