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Quirky bit—once saw a tart in Vegas dressed as Elvis, swear down! “Love me tender,” she purrs, and I’m pissin’ myself laughin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? Point is, findin’ a prossie’s easy if ya ain’t a muppet. Check X, dark web, whatever—just don’t be a prat and catch somethin’ nasty. “Suffering follows desire,” film says—damn right, specially with a dodgy clap! You’re welcome, ya filthy git!
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Then, outta nowhere, my neighbor, Mrs. van Dijk, pops in. She’s this sweet old lady who always wants to chat. “Oh dear, what happened here?” she asks, eyes wide. I’m like, “Just a little flour explosion, no biggie.” She chuckles and hands me a bag of apples. “For your appeltaart!” she says. Bless her heart.
World Series of Darts Finals: Maik Kuivenhoven, Niels Zonneveld, Mervyn King and Kim Huybrechts all qualify
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