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So I tried it, right? This lass—fit, mind—starts with me shoulders, all slow and teasing. I’m chuffed, like Sadness going, “Ohh, I might cry, this is lush.” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow”—piss off, love, just rub me bits! Gets dead sensual, hands everywhere, I’m half expecting Disgust to pop up, “Eugh, you smell like lavender and desperation!” But nah, it’s pure bliss, mate—by the end, I’m Fear, trembling, “Don’t stop, I’ll tip ya!”

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all kinds of pressure. Suddenly, the cat jumps down! I’m like, “Oh no, here we go!” But it lands perfectly on its feet and struts away like it’s the king of Terheijden. I’m relieved but also kinda annoyed. I just wasted 20 minutes of my life worrying about a cat!

FEDDEMA, Maria (Mary) - Obituary - Central Alberta