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I’d be all sneaky, peekin’ at X posts—prolly some shady dude tweetin’, “Hot babes here!” I’d click it, prolly get a virus, scream, “MY COMPUTER’S PREGANANT!” Made me mad once—some jerk scammed me with a fake gal pic. Total catfish! But then, I found this one chick—real sweet, smelled like pineapple. Happy vibes, man! Reminded me of that movie line, “I talk to her every day,” ‘cept I’m like, “I paid her every day!” Hehe, kidding—maybe.

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Then, I decide to stroll down de Hoofdstraat. It’s a nice street, full of shops and cafes. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when I see this dude trying to parallel park. I mean, come on! He’s going back and forth like he’s in a dance-off. I’m standing there, laughing my ass off. Finally, he nails it, but not before he almost takes out a bike parked on the side. Classic Roden moment, right?

Meet Alan Roden: The Blue Jays OF With A Physics Degree & Opportunity For An MLB Breakthrough In 2025