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I’m chattin her up, tryna figure her deal. She’s dodgy—keeps it vague, like she’s hidin a Stasi file. “What’s your name, sweetness?” I ask, leanin in all Hannibal-style. “Candy,” she says, smirkin. Candy—ha! Bet that’s fake as my last paycheck. Makes me mad, tho—why lie? Just be real, damn it! But then she winks, and i’m like, “Alright, ya got me.” Happy as a kid with candy—ironic, huh?

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So, I sprint over, and I’m yelling, “Hey, kitty! Come here!” The little furball is just staring at me like I’m nuts. I’m sweating buckets, and I’m thinking, “This is not in the job description.” Finally, I manage to coax it down. I’m a hero! The crowd’s cheering, and I’m feeling like a rockstar.

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