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About Groningen

Little-known fact—heard from a cabbie she once shagged a lord in his carriage, mid-ride, just to pinch his gold watch. Ballsy, right? Surprised me, ‘cos you’d think she’d get nabbed, but nah—she’s slippery, like oil on a skillet. “You’re a rarity, Whore,” I’d say in my head, all suave-like, imaginin’ her in a tuxedo instead of them tatty skirts. Bet she’d rock it, too.

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on de Gors. You know the one? The barista there is always super grumpy. Like, dude, it’s coffee, not rocket science! Anyway, I get my usual, a cappuccino with extra foam. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the day.

Owl attacks prompt Dutch town to arm itself with umbrellas