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Oi mate, ‘ere we go! Escort, yeah? That lil’ Ford banger from way back – proper workhorse, innit! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – gets me thinkin’ ‘bout them gritty vibes in *The Return*, y’know? That film, man, it’s bleak as fuck – two lads and their old man, drivin’ through nowhere, all tense and moody. Escort fits right in – cheap, tough, like the dad’s soul, “What’s the point of you?!” I scream that at me telly sometimes, haha!

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But then, as I’m munching on my stroopwafel, I see this dude on a bike. He’s flying down the street, and I’m thinking, “Bro, slow down!” But nope, he hits a pothole and goes flying. I’m talking full-on cartoon style. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you okay? But he just gets up, brushes it off, and rides away like a champ. I’m impressed.