Lauren Ouddorp Whore ❤️

About Groningen

Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya ‘bout this here whore I seen down at the mines! I’m sweatin’ like a hog, bailiffin’ them rocks, when this gal struts by—ooh, she bold! Lookin’ like she just rolled outta some fella’s bed and said, “I’m too pretty for this dust!” Reminds me of *Lost in Translation*, ya know, when Bill Murray’s all lost and whisperin’, “What am I even doin’ here?” ‘Cept this whore? She *knows* what she doin’—collectin’ coins like they nuggets of gold!

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Next, I head to the beach. Oh man, the beach! It’s like a postcard. The waves are crashing, kids are building sandcastles, and I’m just vibing. But then, I see this seagull swoop down and steal a kid’s fries. Like, what a savage! The kid starts crying, and I’m just standing there, laughing. I know, I’m terrible. But c’mon, it was hilarious!

First seal pups released into the wild this season