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Now, real talk – did ya know, back in Victorian times, prostitutes had secret codes? Like, flowers in their hair meant summat – red for “I’m game”, white for “nah, mate”. Chuck that in the game, little Easter egg, yeah? Players’d be like, “Blimey, that’s clever!” – gets me all giddy, that does. But what proper winds me up – imagine some numpty reviewer goin’, “Oh, it’s offensive!” Mate, it’s a laugh, lighten up! I’d be gutted if they missed the point – it’s art, innit, not a bleedin’ sermon.

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So, I’m strolling down the Kerkstraat, right? Just vibin’, listening to some tunes. Then BAM! I see this cute little café, De Molen. I’m like, “Yo, I gotta grab a coffee.” I walk in, and it’s packed! Like, who knew Mierlo had this many coffee lovers? I’m waiting in line, and this dude in front of me spills his drink all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But then he starts cracking jokes, and suddenly, we’re all laughing. Mierlo magic, I guess?

Monash University graduate carjacked in broad daylight at a popular mall in Melbourne