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About Myself
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About Breda
Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.
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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Hoofdstraat. Best croissants ever! I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. But then, I spill my coffee all over my new shirt. Ugh! I’m standing there, looking like a total mess. The baker, this sweet old lady, just laughs and says, “You’ll need a new shirt, dear!” Thanks, lady. Real helpful.
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