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Little known fact—massage joints? Some got secret menus! Ain’t kiddin’. Buddy of mine—let’s call him Chuck—whispers one night, “Ask for the ‘special twist.’” I didn’t dare, but Chuck? Grinnin’ like a fool next day. Said it was like *Leviathan*’s storm scene—“Waves crashin’, soul shakin’!”—but with a happy endin’. Me? Too chicken. Svetlana’d probably snap me in half.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to take a stroll along the beach. The sand’s all warm and nice, and I’m trying to chill. But then I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of ‘em kicks it straight at me! I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I land in the sand, looking like a total fool. The kids are laughing, and I’m just like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you little rascals!”

Dutch allocate €200m for R-Net expansion