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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout whores, right? Absolute madness, whores are, slinking about like they own the bloody place! Watched “Spring Breakers” again last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, innit? Harmony Korine, that mad bastard, gets it. “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—that’s what whores live by, swear down. Cash, chaos, and cock—whores lap it up, don’t they?

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So, I hop on my bike. Kampen’s got these cute canals, and I’m cruising down the Oudestraat, feeling all good. But then, BAM! A pigeon decides to take a dump right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to live my best life here! I’m cursing at the bird like it can hear me. “You’ve got one job, dude!”

Mark Rylance’s wife Claire Van Kampen passes away on his birthday