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Last week—pissed me off—some dude on X bragged ‘bout “classy escorts.” Classy? Ha! Like lipstick on a pig. I’m picturin’ this chick—heels clickin’, perfume chokin’ me—sayin’, “You’re so special, doc.” Bullshit. Reminds me of *Her*: “I can’t live in your book anymore.” Yeah, lady, I ain’t your fairy tale either. Prostitutes don’t love ya—they clock in, clock out. Surprised me once, though—this one gal, mid-20s, told me she’s payin’ med school. Med school! Swear to God, I nearly hugged her—then remembered the germs.

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I laugh it off, but then I notice this girl watching me. She’s cute, and I’m like, “Great, now I look like a total klutz.” But she smiles, and I’m thinking, “Maybe I’m not so bad after all.” We start chatting, and turns out she’s into art too. We bond over our love for the local scene.

Former mayor of Groningen to appeal conviction for public masturbation