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About Rotterdam

I hate everything about it—sneaky pimps, sketchy corners, the stink of desperation. Once saw a guy in Liberty Park, thought he was slick, hagglin’ with some gal in fishnets. Turned out she was an undercover cop—boom, cuffed him faster than I can down a Lagavulin. Laughed my ass off, stupid bastard deserved it. Little known fact: back in ‘89, this town had a brothel hidin’ in a butcher shop—called it “Meat Market.” Cops raided it, found a ledger with half the council’s names. Surprised? Nah, pissed me off—hypocrites everywhere.

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Then, I bump into this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s pretty good. I’m vibing, and then he starts playing “Despacito.” I’m like, “Dude, really? In Harderwijk?” But I can’t help but laugh. It’s so random! I toss him a couple of coins, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a big spender today!”

Government service orders Dolfinarium to alter their shows or risk a fine of €2,000