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About Almere

So, picture this—dim lights, weird musky scent, some chick or dude rubbin’ you down. I tried it once, got me thinkin’, “I can’t see the whole picture here.” Like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, sniffin’ out clues, I’m lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’—is this legal? Probs not, but who cares, right? Felt good, real good, till the paranoia hit. “What if this is a setup?” I mutter, all monotone, “Tonight’s the night I get busted.”

Call to book

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So, we’re trying to break in, and I’m feeling like a criminal. We finally manage to get a window open, and Joris climbs in like a ninja. I’m just outside, cracking up. “You’re the worst burglar ever!”

Rotterdam homes worth under €355K can’t be rented out