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Me, I dig the slow build. Fingers kneadin’, breath catchin’, “The forest is quiet now.” That’s the vibe—calm but electric. Ever tried it with a partner? Fuckin’ game-changer. Last week, my girl was like, “Let’s try it,” and I’m all, “Whoa, yes please!” Laughed my ass off when she slipped off the bed—oil everywhere, total mess. Still hot tho. Pro tip: dim lights, warm oil, don’t skimp on towels, dude.

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I walk down the Maashaven, and I spot this little café. I’m starving, so I pop in for a quick bite. The smell of fresh stroopwafels hits me like a brick. I order one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sitting there, enjoying my treat, when this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of Feijenoord, how it used to be a rough area but now it’s changing. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want my waffle!”

Feyenoord v Bayern | 90 in 90 | UEFA Champions League