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Alright, listen up, folks—brothel’s on my mind! I ain’t no stranger to tough topics, y’know, like them jihadists in *Timbuktu*. “The desert’s a harsh mistress,” like they say in that flick—same goes for brothels, I reckon. Hot damn, I’m sweatin’ just thinkin’ bout it! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again! That’s my motto when I’m ponderin’ them houses of ill repute.

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Then I decide to stroll down the Hoofdstraat. It’s a cute street, full of shops and stuff. I’m vibing, listening to my tunes, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it! I’m bopping along, feeling all the feels. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously?! I’m standing there, covered in bird crap, and I can’t help but laugh. Only in Elst, man.

Elst Brewing Company — the city’s newest brewery — to open North Knoxville tasting room