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Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” ain’t that posh? Fuckin’ mental, history’s wild. Anyway, I’m there, hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a dodgy motor, and she’s goin’, “Twenty quid, mate, take it or piss off!” Laughed me arse off – she’s got balls, fair play. Reminds me o’ that line, “This is my place!” – she owned that street corner like Yubaba owns the bathhouse, y’know?

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So, I’m fuming, right? I head over to the local café, De Koffiehoek, to recharge my phone and my spirit. I grab a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool dude named Joris, is like, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I’m like, “Nah, just trees.” He laughs, and I’m like, “Dude, you have no idea.”

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