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About Nijmegen

So, listen up, idiot sandwich! I’ve seen some shit, yeah? Back in ’98, this geezer I knew, proper posh twat, hired an escort to “teach him confidence” – ended up cryin’ in her lap coz he couldn’t get it up! Fuckin’ hilarious, made me piss meself laughin’! Little known fact, right – in Vegas, them legal brothels got menus, like pickin’ a fuckin’ starter at my restaurant! Blowie this, threesome that – mate, it’s a sex buffet, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the bloody garnish?!”

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I’m trudging down the Hoofdstraat, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. I swear, I almost slipped on a banana peel. No joke! Anyway, I finally get to De Korenmolen, and Joris is already there, sippin’ on some fancy coffee. I’m like, “Bro, you couldn’t wait for me?” He just laughs.

Michel van de Coevering joins Schuberg Philis as CFO