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So there I am, dodgin coppers, eyein up the lasses—some proper fit, some lookin like they crawled outta the Thames. “This is not a drill!” I’m yellin in me head, all Churchill-like, “We shall never surrender!” Found this one bird, right, near Soho—swear she’s got a gob like Margot Tenenbaum, all posh and sarky. She goes, “Wotcha want, love?” and I’m like, “Ain’t no time for faff, darlin!” She’s chargin 50 quid, and I’m fumin—50 bloody quid?! Robbery, that is! Made me proper angry, but also a bit chuffed—hagglin’s half the fun, yeah?

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy bursts in. He’s soaked, like he just swam here or something. Turns out, he was trying to cycle through the rain. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who cycles in this weather? He looked like a drowned rat. We ended up chatting, and he told me about the best spots in Bergschenhoek. Apparently, there’s a hidden park near the Hoekseweg. I made a mental note.

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