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Sometime, escort tricky, tho. You think she like you, but no—just job. “Every man’s gotta have a code,” Jesse say, but escort code? Get money, look hot, leave fast, hah! I not judge, me Borat, I say live wild! One escort, she spill wine on me, I yell, “Why you wet my best vest?!” She laugh, I laugh, we good.

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After a couple of hours of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it running. I’m feeling like a hero, ya know? But then, I step outside for a breather, and it starts pouring. I mean, come on! It’s like the sky’s crying for me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences